My Story: Eight Months Down – One To Go!
By Rebecca Godlove
Pediatric Alliance – Chartiers/McMurray Division
As much as we wanted this pregnancy…
As long as we prayed and hoped and dreamed for it…
I am still SO ready for it to be over!
I feel kind of guilty for complaining. After all, other than the subchorionic hematoma that scared me senseless during my first trimester, this pregnancy has been fairly routine. I didn’t get debilitating morning sickness, headaches, or major problems sleeping. Other than a few food aversions (coffee, initially, and cooked green vegetables) and cravings (peanut butter, peanut butter, PEANUT BUTTER!), I haven’t had any tummy trouble 0r heartburn. My skin improved and became more resilient, rather than acne-prone and more sensitive. In fact, until just last week, I hadn’t even had any swelling.
Then my body apparently remembered it’s supposed to be eight months along.
Boom.
No sleep, night sweats, headaches, pinched nerves, jaw pain, stiff ankles the size of small melons, backaches. No clothes fit. No shoes fit. I live in maxi-dresses and flip-flops. I don’t bother with a lot of makeup. NOW I feel pregnant. In that no-longer-glowing kind of way.
I am not fun to be around anymore.
To complicate a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy, my OB-GYN has begun to carefully monitor my blood pressure. I had pre-existing hypertension (despite my passionate efforts to exercise, lose weight, cut caffeine and reduce sodium intake – none of which changed the number on that chart). Although it has been well-controlled with medication the majority of the past eight months, we’ve seen a few sudden spikes lately. That, coupled with an estimated smaller-than-average sized baby, as well as his current position (breech), has me on alert.
I’m not worried yet, though – I’ve heard too many success stories to panic now! (Plus, we all know what worrying does, right? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD!) I’m still more excited than anything else. In this past week, I’ve been blessed with TWO wonderful showers – one thrown by my family and the other by my co-workers. Let me tell you, this little guy is already spoiled rotten! Not to mention, he will be the most adorably-dressed dude in the waiting room, I think!
Even as my belly is growing, the to-do checklist is shrinking. Glucose test – done (and passed). Maternity photo shoot – done (and fabulous). Birth plan – done. Hospital tour – done. Read like two million baby books and articles – done. Nursery – not done yet…but almost!
Now, as for that birth plan…I’ve read a lot, researched a lot, soul-searched a lot about what is really important to me for the birth of my first child. I’ve read up on water births, home births, natural births, birthing balls, breastfeeding, formula feeding, c-sections, circumcision, rooming-in, midwives and doulas. And this is what I have decided:
I trust my doctor.
Completely.
I absolutely believe that he will make the decisions that are best for the baby and for myself, while keeping me clearly informed of my options and the risks and benefits of any choice I make. Up to this point, he has carefully and plainly shared with me what he is doing, when he does it, and why he does it. I don’t have any reason to believe that my labor and delivery will be any different! Granted, there are a few things I’d like (yup, an epidural is one of them), but I’ve decided that, if good parenting is all about being flexible and realizing you don’t have all the answers, I’d better start now! It’s very freeing to realize that, at least in certain areas, compromise can lead to greater success than rigidity can.
I’ve also found freedom elsewhere. When well-meaning, curious folks ask me, “Is this your first?” I used to say it was because I didn’t know how to respond about my miscarriages. Now, I don’t say that anymore. I’m honest. I say, very simply, “No, we’ve lost three, but this is the first one we get to meet. It’s a boy. We’re very excited!” Invariably, the asker responds with a shy smile and a very sincere congratulations! That reply sometimes opens doors to conversations about pregnancy loss, which I have become very comfortable with. Sometimes people are relieved and share about their own losses. It’s my way of honoring the children we won’t get to meet in this lifetime, while acknowledging the thrill that we’re going to be holding our wonderful baby boy in just a few short weeks!
With that, I really do want to thank all of you who have encouraged us along this sometimes bumpy road. Without the love and kind words of both friends and strangers, it would have been much harder to believe this dream really could come true! If all goes well – and we know it will – the next post you see from me will be of our new little bundle of JOY!
Please note: photographs courtesy Danielle Nichole Photography – all rights reserved!
Read Rebecca’s other “My Story” essays here.